and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
