you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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