If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
