Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
