i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
