btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
