I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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