Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
