dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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