I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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