Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
