Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
