Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Two words: blizzard sex
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
