i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You are the jesus of drinking
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
