O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize