if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
