help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
