They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
