I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
