The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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