What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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