Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
