If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
