just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
