sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
