I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
