I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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