Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
