Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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