oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
