Whats the glycemic index on semen?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
