the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We are all done wearing pants today
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