Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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