Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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