It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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