I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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