A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
