Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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