Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
