From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
