I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
