Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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