We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
