no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
