I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
