your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
