they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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