oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize