I understand Curling. That high.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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