Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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