and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
