I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
