I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
