I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
