fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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