Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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