she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
