oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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