I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
